Hello-Kitty ;

♥ Wednesday, April 15, 2009 ♥

Don't exactly know why, but I suddenly recalled this particular lot I drew in one of the famous temple in Japan, 4 years ago.

I remember the lot represents my life in the near future and it says something like - I will face hardship in the early days of my life, but things will eventually become better after I learn how to differentiate stones from gems. It also mentions that marriage is not good now (which is 4 years ago) and that love will come, but late.

Somehow, thinking back, I think I do know the meaning there and then, but I don't think I truly understand it, till now. The gems I thought I saw were indeed stones and the stones I neglected were the gems of my life. Probably I'm going through the mid life crisis syndrome, hence the big talks and thoughts. However, it's only through this few and rare moments that I get a better understanding of who I am or what I am actually trying to become.

I really need to appreciate the people around me - especially my Orang Utan. He has never once criticized my actions, has loved all my faults and tries to give me everything I want. These qualities are definitely the making of a gem.

I remember a year ago I wrote -

My Bf is

Not exactly rich
Not exactly smart
Not exactly mature
Not exactly romantic
Not exactly good-looking

BUT

He works OT to buy me things
He manage to answer all my doubts
He is someone I seek for advice & support
He melts my heart with the little things he do
He mesmerizes me totally and captivates my attention

Ya, that's my bf and I loovvveee him soooo much!!~*muack*

After reading this I do feel guilty stricken cause he didn't exactly change, but I have been asking for more. That's the ugly side of human nature and I am an ugly human being - never contented. Whenever I wanted something, he will either purchase it for me or volunteer to pay half of what I purchased. He sponsored money for most of the expensive trips and dinner I attended and his only question towards the end was "Did you enjoy yourself?"

Recently:
He sponsored half for My new camera - Fujifilm F60, He gave me all his winnings in Mahjong while I kept mine, He let me robbed his $1 and 50cents coins every night and the list goes on....

My Orang Utan will definitely be very 'ya ya' when he sees this, but I am giving him the authority to smirk about it, cause he does deserve it.

I really need to reflect and thereafter do something about it, cause apparently it always end after the thought.....

Cyn^^ was here on Wednesday, April 15, 2009.